Toby DeHay

The Anonymous Letter (or email)…

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I’m a little surprised that I’ve never received one—not that I want one—no one does. When I served a small church in my 30s, and someone asked me if I’d ever received an anonymous letter or email; I said, “Nope. The ones that have an issue with me usually just tell me!”

I had a pastor friend give me some advice early on in ministry. He said that if I ever received one, just throw it away. If they couldn’t bring themselves to sign it, they probably didn’t mean it! Another one said, “I told our church that I’d let them know if I received one and they could come forward privately to claim it. If no one did, I’d post it on the bulletin board for all to see.” Bold!

Receiving an anonymous letter can be disheartening, especially for a younger leader navigating early ministry challenges. These letters often stem from unmet expectations, personal hurts, or misguided attempts at “correction.” While it’s tempting to dwell on them, the key is to respond with wisdom, grace, and a focus on your calling.

Screen grab from Google Images: Instagram; @adamaweber

Why Anonymous Letters Are Not Okay

Anonymous letters undermine healthy communication and community in several ways:

They Promote Cowardice and Avoid Accountability: By hiding the sender’s identity, these letters prevent open dialogue, clarification, or reconciliation. This reflects a lack of courage and maturity, as the writer avoids potential consequences or follow-up.
They Can Foster Division and Gossip: Without a named source, rumors can spread unchecked, creating toxicity in the church. This distracts from unity and ministry, turning minor issues into major disruptions.
They Hinder Personal Growth and Resolution: Legitimate concerns deserve context and discussion. Anonymity assumes the recipient knows the whole story, often leading to misunderstandings or unaddressed pain.
They May Be Legally or Ethically Risky: If the letter contains serious allegations (e.g., misconduct involving minors), ignoring it entirely could expose you or the church to negligence claims, as courts have ruled that verifiable accusations warrant investigation, even if anonymous. However, frivolous or vague complaints don’t carry the same weight.
These letters rarely strengthen the body of Christ; instead, they tear it down, often reflecting the sender’s unresolved issues rather than constructive feedback. We should ask ourselves, “I’m going through a lot of trouble trying to hide my identity from this person. Why? Is what I’m saying inappropriate? Am I ashamed of what I’m writing?”

Biblical Principles to Follow

The Bible provides clear guidance on conflict, communication, and leadership, emphasizing directness, love, and unity over anonymity. Key principles include:

Direct Confrontation for Reconciliation: Matthew 18:15-17 instructs that if someone sins against you, go to them privately first, involve witnesses if needed, and escalate to the church only as a last resort. Anonymity eliminates this process, preventing restoration and treating the offender (or offended) as an enemy rather than a brother or sister in Christ.
Speaking the Truth in Love: Ephesians 4:15 calls believers to address issues openly and lovingly to promote maturity in the body. Anonymous letters lack love and don’t allow for gentle restoration (Galatians 6:1) or mutual understanding.
Protecting Unity and Avoiding Division: Ephesians 4:3-6 urges eagerness to maintain the bond of peace. Anonymous complaints can sow discord, which Titus 3:10 warns against by advising to reject divisive people after warnings.
Handling Accusations Against Leaders: 1 Timothy 5:19 states that charges against an elder should not be entertained without two or three witnesses. Anonymity fails this standard, as there’s no verifiable source or corroboration.
Prayer and Gentleness in Response: James 1:5 encourages seeking wisdom from God, and praying for both your heart and the sender aligns with Jesus’ command to pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44). This guards against bitterness and focuses on God’s sovereignty. These principles highlight that God’s design for the church is relational and accountable, not hidden or accusatory.

The Best Way to Move Forward After Receiving One

Handling an anonymous letter requires a balanced approach: don’t ignore potential truth, but don’t let it derail your ministry.

Pray Immediately: Start by seeking God’s wisdom and peace. Pray for your heart to avoid discouragement or defensiveness, and intercede for the sender, recognizing their possible pain or immaturity. This shifts focus from hurt to humility (Philippians 4:6-7).
Evaluate Briefly but Wisely: Read it once to discern if there’s any kernel of truth or a serious allegation (e.g., legal or safety concerns). If it’s vague criticism, apply the “toss-it principle”—discard it quickly to avoid dwelling. For serious claims, investigate discreetly (e.g., check facts or consult legal counsel) to protect the vulnerable, as moral and legal duty may require action.
Seek Counsel from Trusted Leaders: Share it with a small group of mature elders or mentors for perspective. This provides accountability and helps unify leadership. Avoid going solo, as Proverbs 11:14 notes safety in many counselors.
Address It Appropriately (If Needed): If the letter has spread or caused division, respond publicly in a non-worship setting (e.g., a leader’s meeting). Direct people to Scripture on conflict resolution, and establish a church policy: “We don’t accept anonymous complaints; come directly as Matthew 18 instructs.” This discourages future ones without giving the letter undue attention.
Move On with Faithfulness: Refocus on your core calling—preaching, discipling, and shepherding (1 Corinthians 4:1-2). Healthy leaders don’t linger; they trust God with outcomes. Surround yourself with encouragers, journal lessons learned, and remember that criticism often says more about the critic than you.

What if you have sent an anonymous letter sometime in the past? I’d encourage you with Scripture’s call to humility and restoration. Acknowledge courage in reflecting on your actions, as this shows the Holy Spirit’s work in your heart (Psalm 51:10-12). God’s grace covers all sin when we repent (1 John 1:9). Take a step of faith by approaching the person directly, as Matthew 18:15 urges, to seek forgiveness and rebuild trust. This open act honors God’s community design and allows healing for both parties.

Honesty and love should guide communication (Ephesians 4:15, 32). Sending an anonymous letter may have come from hurt or fear, but God calls us to speak truth with gentleness, fostering unity rather than division (Colossians 3:12-14). Pray for the person you wrote to, asking God to heal any wounds caused (Matthew 5:44), and to rest in the assurance that God’s mercy is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). You can model grace by engaging others with courage and compassion.

From Anxiety to Openness: Asking for Meetings that Build Trust

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The way we ask for meetings matters to you and those you meet. Making a few adjustments in how you ask for a meeting or ask for clarification can help maintain respect and earn trust.

We’ve all sent that vague text, “Hey, can we meet?” Sometimes those on the receiving end can have a panic attack, question their life choices, or turn into a mental investigator when all you had to do was clarify! I have been thinking through this topic over the past year and hope some of the things I have learned are helpful! Here are a few ideas to think through before you send that text:

“Can we meet?”

The Anxiety Factor

Many people assume the worst when a leader or church member says, “Can we meet?” without context — they might think they’re in trouble. Isn’t it funny how the “I think I’m in trouble” feeling doesn’t go away when you’re an adult??
Surprise or vague meeting requests can trigger defensiveness or distrust before the meeting even happens. It’s not fair to anyone to enter a meeting feeling defensive OR be on the opposite side of someone who feels that way.
Clarifying the topic ahead of time gives them space to prepare emotionally and mentally. It also gives the other person time to ask follow-up questions so they can be prepared.

The Stewardship of Time

Pastors and members are busy; telling them the topic of the meeting allows them to prepare and ensures the meeting is productive. Maybe the other person is not interested in talking about that topic. This will enable them to tell you why they don’t want to meet.
It communicates respect for the other person’s schedule and priorities.

Biblical Principles

Matthew 7:12 – “Do unto others…” applies to meetings; how would you want to be approached?
Ephesians 4:15 – “Speaking the truth in love” often requires intentional preparation, not surprise confrontation.
Proverbs 15:23 – “A word in season” — a timely and well-prepared conversation is more fruitful.

We have all abused these with vague meeting invitations, possibly ambushing someone, and causing them a sleepless night. I’m trying to do better on both ends – the sender and receiver.

Reducing Power Imbalance

In church leadership, a vague meeting request can feel like a summons—like positioning yourself behind a big desk or asking someone to drive 40 minutes to your location when you could easily meet in the middle.
Giving context levels the field and encourages openness rather than suspicion.

Practical Guidance for Leaders

Example: Instead of “Can you meet this week?” Try, “Can we meet to discuss your interest in leading a small group?”
If the topic is sensitive, still give a hint: “I’d like to talk through a pastoral concern I’ve noticed.”
For especially difficult conversations, you might still want to prepare them without dumping everything over text/email — just enough so they know the direction. I’m fairly blunt, so I ask myself, “What type of relationship do I have with this person, and how forward/blunt is appropriate?” Sometimes I swing and miss!

Training Members/Others to Do the Same

Members should also give leaders a heads-up when they request a meeting — it’s not just a leadership courtesy. I find myself saying this about once a month, “I’d love to meet! Can you give me an idea of what we will discuss so I’ll know how to pray in the meantime?” This gives me the topic and allows me to be specific with the Lord in prayer.
Don’t be afraid of saying NO. As a new believer, I watched a pastor get beaten up week in and week out after church by the same lady. She’d say, “Can I have a minute?” then roast him for 10-15 minutes. In certain situations I quickly learned it’s better to say, “No, I don’t have a minute. Can you send me a text/email with what you’d like to discuss? I’d love to get that scheduled this week.” I did that a time or two with a someone who was starting to develop a pattern of negative/antagonistic conversations, and guess what? The person didn’t need to meet with me anymore!

Result of Better Meeting Requests

More trust between leaders and members.
More productive conversations.
Less time wasted on guesswork and emotional pre-processing.

The 4C Framework for Requesting a Meeting

1. Clarify the Purpose

Give a brief, honest summary of the topic:
Instead of: “Can we meet?”
Say: “Can we meet to discuss the upcoming worship schedule?”

2. Choose the Right Time

Ensure it’s not dropped on them at a high-stress moment (e.g., right before Sunday service starts). Before I walked up to preach once, a friend told me he had an issue with me, but it could wait until after the service. I told him he could tell me then, or he would be preaching! He got my point and shared his issue immediately.
If it’s sensitive, give them enough notice to process before the meeting.

3. Communicate the Tone

Set expectations so they don’t brace for bad news.
Example: “Nothing urgent or negative — I’d like to brainstorm with you.”
Or: “It’s a pastoral concern, but my heart is to listen and encourage.”

4. Confirm the Logistics

Offer two or three options for time and place.
If it might be long or emotionally heavy, let them know in advance so they can block enough time.

The goal is to replace vague, anxiety-inducing meeting requests with respectful, clear, and trust-building invitations.

Boy, has it taken me a while to get better at these! Have you experienced anxiety upon receiving a vague text requesting a meeting? Have you sent these texts? What are some other tips you have? Leave a comment and help continue the conversation!

Riding The Tiger: Servant Vs. Dictatorial Leadership

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Al Mohler, President of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, often references a vivid phrase from political history: “Riding the tiger.” The idea is simple but sobering—when a leader gains power through control or fear, they may appear strong, but they’re actually in danger. They’re riding a wild beast that cannot be tamed. And once on, they can’t easily get off. The only way down is usually through death, disgrace, or destruction.

It’s an image often used to describe dictators, but it also serves as a powerful warning to Christian leaders.

Some pastors and ministry leaders, whether knowingly or not, begin to lead like they’re riding the tiger. They grip control tightly, build systems that depend on them, and silence or sideline others who could share the load. Instead of empowering leaders, they stifle them. Instead of helping people grow, they hurt them through fear, pride, or insecurity. Eventually, the very power they depend on turns on them—or worse, on the people they lead.

This isn’t just a leadership flaw—it’s a spiritual danger.

Jesus Didn’t Ride the Tiger

Jesus modeled something radically different. He said, “The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve” (Matt. 20:28). He washed feet. He raised others up. He handed off responsibility. Jesus led by laying down His life, not by clinging to control. He didn’t hoard power—He multiplied it through others.

If you’re leading in any capacity—pastor, elder, community group leader, disciple-maker—this is a gracious warning and a hopeful reminder: Don’t ride the tiger. Raise up others instead.

Here are three biblical principles that can help Christian leaders lead in a healthy, Christlike way:

1. Shepherd the Flock, Rather Than Control It

“Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.”
—1 Peter 5:2–3

The church is not your platform. It’s not your empire. It’s God’s flock. Leaders are called to care, guide, protect, and nurture—not dominate. A shepherd feeds and leads. He doesn’t force or fear. The call is to serve with open hands and a humble heart.

2. Equip the Saints, Don’t Compete with Them

“And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ…”
—Ephesians 4:11–12

If ministry always centers around you, something’s off. Healthy leadership multiplies ministry. Your job isn’t to do all the work—it’s to train others to do the work. You may be the most gifted person in the room. Praise God for the way He gifted you. Now teach someone else what you know. Don’t ride the tiger of insecurity or ego. Equip the next generation.

3. Love, Don’t Lord Over

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant…”
—Matthew 20:25–26

Jesus gave a crystal-clear warning: Don’t lead like the world. Worldly leadership is about power. Kingdom leadership is about service. You may get more applause as a domineering leader, but you won’t get more rewards. God honors leaders who love deeply and lead humbly.

The Contrast: Riding the Tiger vs. Walking Like Jesus

Riding the Tiger	Walking Like Jesus
Leads by fear and control	Leads by love and service
Fears being replaced	Rejoices in multiplying others
Holds tight to power	Willingly lays it down
Sees others as threats	Sees others as partners
Ends in collapse	Ends in legacy

Final Word

The truth is, when leaders ride the tiger, everyone gets mauled—leaders, followers, churches, families. But when leaders walk like Jesus, people flourish. Leaders grow. Churches thrive. The Gospel spreads.

So let me ask: Are you riding the tiger? If so, dismount while you still can—not by force, but through repentance, humility, and surrender. Lay down your need for control, and pick up the towel of a servant.

Jesus never called you to tame a beast. He called you to make disciples.

Lead like that.

Biking the Katy Trail: Day Five

We woke at the Marthasville, MO, community park club, packed our gear, and headed toward St. Charles. Day five included a 38-mile final stretch that went by quickly! We left Marthasville around 7:15 am and arrived in St. Charles by 11:15 am.

The scenery included more farmland, and as the trail grew closer to the city, it turned into woods, then suburban outskirts.

The limestone gravel was extremely packed on this side of the trail, and we were making excellent time! I’m guessing we averaged 13-14 mph. We stopped at a train station and chatted with some e-bikers a couple of times. The third time we saw them, they said, “You guys are going surprisingly fast to have all that gear!” We had the motivation to get to the end!!

St. Charles at last! The Bike Stop Cafe is in the background. We began the trip with a shuttle from here!

Statue of Lewis and Clark off the trail next to the Bike Stop Cafe.

We completed the MKT-Katy Trail, which was 237 miles (257 for us!). I’m posting each of these one week after the ride. My legs are just now feeling normal! This was a ride of a lifetime! After riding it with a regular bike, I think it would be fun to do so on an e-bike and stay the nights at hotels or Airbnb’s.

We had a fun time and met many great people on the trail. If you ever have the desire to do anything like this, make a plan and get started. We lived in Kansas City, MO, for almost 10 years. Each time we drove under the MKT bridge on I-70, I would tell Christy, “One day I’m going to ride that whole trail!” As Eddie and I rode over I-70 on that bridge, I remember thinking, “I’m doing it! Enjoy the moment!!” Over 15 years later, I finally did it!

Psalm 118:24 (ESV)

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Biking the Katy Trail: Day Four

We began day four in Portland and ended up in Marthasville. Neither of us slept very much the previous night. We had some noisy camping neighbors and several cars driving on the gravel slowly near the campground. Neither of us could understand the traffic. There is nothing in Portland! (Eddie’s YouTube video for days four and five)

On day four, I began to worry about the top of my head burning, so I turned into “Prison Toby.” We stopped at McKittrick and enjoyed some time catching up with our friend Ova at the 1896-built mercantile. Much of the day’s scenery included open farmland, woods, and a view of the river.

Ova towed a bike trailer. He hated it! If you plan on biking the Katy, do not get a bike trailer. Ova said he could pack too much gear, which added too much resistance. In loose gravel, the small tires slowed him down to the smallest gears, making the ride extremely difficult.

This section of the trail has little to no water. One biker said he went 40 miles with no water. McKittrick has water from a frost-free hydrant in a grassy area to the left of this building. All the fixtures and flooring seen in the picture above are original to the 1896 store.

At the McKittrick stop, I noticed my knees were swollen. They didn’t hurt, but they were enormous!

We arrived in Marthasville at around 3 pm and camped at the Little League field for $5 each. There were 6-8 other bikers camping, and at 6:15 pm, local cars full of kids began parking all around our tents as games were about to begin. Eddie and I chose the grass near the outfield, and I enjoyed some Cracker Jack while watching the little guys play. We had a meal with a 54-year-old retired veterinarian named Kurt at a restaurant to the left of the blue building in the picture above. Kurt had a belt-driven bike and enjoyed a solo ride on his new retirement.

On day four, we biked around 40 miles. It was the earliest we’d stopped for the day and the most interesting campsite! I used the shower, and the ball complex had a nice covered pavilion, snack bar, and water available. Lea is the contact for this campsite, and her info is found here. She has some crazy stories of going to pick up drunk bikers who thought they could ride to a nearby winery, only to discover they were too drunk to bike or find their way back to town!

When Boundaries Become Unbiblical

4-minute read time. Photo by Luke Barky on Pexels.com

Boundaries, at their best, are a biblical tool for managing our hearts, relationships, and responsibilities. They help define where we end and others begin. As Henry Cloud writes in his book Boundaries, “Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me.”

Scripture affirms the value of wise limits:

Proverbs 4:23 – “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”
Galatians 6:5 – “For each will have to bear his own load.”

These verses highlight personal responsibility and self-governance under Christ’s Lordship. Boundaries are not only wise—they’re necessary. But what happens when they become the very thing that keeps us from the life Jesus calls us to live? What happens when boundaries become unbiblical?

What Are Some Ways Boundaries Help Us Be Faithful—As Well As Help Us Hide?

Healthy boundaries can protect our calling. They help us say “no” to lesser things so we can say “yes” to God’s best. They preserve time for rest, worship, and obedience. For example:

Declining toxic relationships that consistently pull us away from the Lord.
Setting aside Sabbath time for rest and communion with God.
Saying “no” to overcommitment so we can stay available for what really matters.

However, boundaries can also become a spiritual disguise for avoidance. Instead of creating space to love and serve well, they can become shields that hide fear, pride, or laziness.

Examples:

Avoiding community because “you need margin,” when in reality, it’s self-protection.
Ignoring a need because it inconveniences your routine.
Using boundaries to reject people or responsibilities that require real sacrifice.

Jesus didn’t live boundary-less, but He didn’t live self-protectively either. He withdrew to pray, but He also had compassion on the crowds (Mark 6:34). Our boundaries should reflect that same Spirit-led rhythm.

My Life Revolves Around My Boundaries Rather Than Them Helping Me Behave

Boundaries are meant to serve us, not rule us. When our lives revolve around our boundaries, we may no longer be stewarding them—they may be controlling us.

Paul warns against this subtle slavery:

Galatians 5:1 – “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” (Freedom in Christ keeps us from legalism of all sorts.)
Romans 12:1 – “Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.”

Boundaries should support a surrendered life, not obstruct it. When we treat them as untouchable, we might resist the Spirit’s invitation to flexibility, faith, or sacrifice.

Boundaries Can Become Idol Worship

Idolatry occurs whenever something other than God becomes the functional center of our lives. Even good things—like boundaries—can become ultimate.

Exodus 20:3 – “You shall have no other gods before me.”
1 John 5:21 – “Little children, keep yourselves from idols.”

Do you find your peace more in your routines than in your Redeemer? Do you cling to your personal rules more than God’s call to love?

If your identity is built on having a “balanced life” instead of obedience and surrendering to Christ, you may worship control, not the Lord.

Boundaries Limit Healthy Discipleship and Engagement with Others

Discipleship is inconvenient. It’s messy, relational, sacrificial, and rarely fits neatly into a calendar block.

1 Thessalonians 2:8 – “We were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.”
Matthew 28:19–20 – “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…”

Jesus’s mission demands our availability, not just our structure. Healthy boundaries should create margin so that we can be more, not less, interruptible.

When we hide behind boundaries, we stop offering our lives to others. We opt out of costly love. We choose safety over obedience.

A Biblical Vision of Healthy, Christ-Centered Boundaries

Jesus modeled rhythms of rest and engagement. He withdrew often to pray (Luke 5:16), but He didn’t withhold Himself when people needed compassion or truth.

A Christ-centered boundary says:

“I want to be faithful with my time so I can serve you well.”
“I’ll guard my energy not to protect myself, but to give more freely.”

Principles for biblical boundaries:

They exist to say “yes” to God more clearly, not merely to say “no” to others.
They are flexible to the Spirit’s leading.
They are held in humility, not control.

Conclusion

Boundaries are wise and biblical, but they must remain surrendered to Christ. When they become excuses, idols, or walls, we risk cutting ourselves off from the very life Jesus invites us into.

So we must ask: Are our boundaries serving God’s mission—or our comfort? Are they helping us live faithfully—or hide fearfully?

May we live with open hands, healthy rhythms, and hearts fully available to the purposes of Christ.

Biking the Katy Trail: Day Three

We began day three at Cooper’s Landing and enjoyed a coffee and some oatmeal while cleaning our bikes. At this point on the trail, the path regularly followed the Missouri River. My metabolism is typically a bit high, but I was eating constantly on this trip! After starting each day with oatmeal, I ate snacks of nuts, packaged tuna/salmon, spam, dried fruit, and an occasional gel packet. We stopped in Jefferson City on Wednesday for lunch at a downtown BBQ. (Eddie’s YouTube video for day three)

The trails were very clear the week we were there. This was the only obstruction the entire week!

We kept the practice of stopping at each one of these train stations. They typically had a restroom and a water refill station.

I made a huge mistake at the Jeff City train station. We wanted to go into the city to get supplies and eat, but I didn’t want to leave my GPS on to tell me where to turn. I was trying to conserve the battery. We passed the spur we needed, began chatting, and ended up 5 miles down the trail! We had to bike back the 5 miles on the hottest day! Eddie found his cappuccino in Jeff City and told the lady, “I think I’ll take a latte.” I said, “Nope! I’ve been listening to you talk non-stop about a cappuccino, you’re getting a cappuccino!!” Haha!

Along the way we met some really fun people. The older man in the orange is from Florida and spent most of his life in Eastern Kentucky. He biked the MKT, planned to take 3 days off, and was headed out west to bike a week with his daughter. The shirtless gent biked with Busch Light’s strapped to his bike and we quickly learned his catch phrase: “See you at the next bar!”

We stopped at Standing Rock and read a little about the history of the Lewis and Clark tour. My favorite book on Lewis and Clark is Undaunted Courage! Just above my head is the flood line from 1904, I think.

On day three, we stayed at the River Edge Campground (4 tent sites and a few RV hook-ups) for $15. We ate at the bar and grill (the town’s only restaurant) and learned that it was an eatery and the town’s community center!

We biked 47 miles plus 10 round-trip mistake miles and several more to get to and from Jefferson City.

Biking the Katy Trail: Day Two

On day two, we began in Sedalia and camped at the Missouri State Fairgrounds camping area. The fairgrounds are about a half a mile off the trail, and you simply set up and wait for the kindly gentleman to come by and collect your payment. We paid $15 each for camping, had a hot shower in the bathhouse, and found some electricity to charge our devices. The previous day, we biked 37 miles and finished the day with a nice meal at El Tapacio Mexican restaurant in Sedalia. (Eddie’s YouTube video: Day Two)

We noticed the front wheel on my bike was continually becoming loose, so Eddie looked at it at the Sedalia train station.

The ride from Sedalia to Boonville was one of the most challenging rides. Much of the trail was uphill, and we took several breaks to continually work on my bike. When we arrived in Boonville, we ate hibachi at a food truck in town, took a nap, and began to find our way back to the trailhead.

When we arrived at the trailhead, we heard someone whistling at us and noticed our new friends from the shuttle in Clinton. They had saved a banana for Eddie (he’d been talking the day before about looking for bananas and a cappuccino on the trip!). While we were talking, one of the guys told us we needed to check out the historical pieces inside the Boonville Trail Museum. While in there, we were able to find the tools we needed to fix my bike properly!!

We arrived in Rocheport at around 4 pm, and we were exhausted! There were no camping sites, so we decided to rest awhile and keep biking toward Easley and Cooper’s Landing Campsite. The remainder of the day’s ride was downhill (15 miles). Our biking friend, Ova, also arrived and was so tired that he slept at the train station in the picture above.

At Cooper’s Landing, we took a cold hose shower and enjoyed an amazing view of the Missouri River! On day two, we biked 65 miles.

Biking the Katy Trail: Day One

My friend Eddie and I arrived in St Charles MO on Sunday evening and on Monday early we met at the bike stop café in Saint Charles and rode with 11 other riders to the western end of the trail: Clinton, Missouri. Since we met in Saint Charles at 8 AM, we weren’t able to start riding until about 1 PM after we arrived in Clinton at the beginning.

The trail is very well maintained and a nice ride. We passed the high point today and stopped for a break. (Here is Eddie’s YouTube video for Day One.)

Almost every time we stopped, we spent time with the crew from the shuttle. There were six older guys who ride all over the country each year. They are fun!

At the high point pavilion, a gentleman was super kind to take our picture as long as we didn’t mind if he rolled a Doobie and smoked it! Mr. Doobie had completed the west to east portion and was on his way to finishing the east to West ride. He was then planning on taking the Rock Island spur and riding it to Kansas City for his flight home. We also met two older ladies there who told us about them biking across the entire United States; and one of them twice!

We are really enjoying meeting new people. One lady was there supporting a group of bikers and offered us bananas! So kind!

So far much of the trail is shaded and provides a really nice view of farmland on either side. Occasionally, we come across small rural towns that do not have very many amenities.

Eddie and I intended on riding further today but got way too tired and stopped in Sedalia Missouri. The Missouri State fair grounds have a campsite and camping is $15 per tent in the primitive sites.

After day one, our bodies are sore, we are a bit dehydrated, but we are clean, well-fed, and ready for a nights rest so we can begin day two!

Day one total: 37 miles

McDonald’s and Disciple Making: A Simple, Effective Strategy for Meeting

3-minute read

For many of us, McDonald’s is just a fast-food restaurant, but it can also be a strategic meeting place for disciple-makers. I’ve found that gathering at McDonald’s for coffee provides a consistent, low-cost, and accessible setting for disciple-making. Here’s why—and how you can leverage this approach in your disciple-making efforts. (Apologies to my new friend Joel. He owns a coffee shop in a town northeast of me. His place is now my go-to when I’m in his town!)

1. McDonald’s are Everywhere

One of the biggest advantages of using McDonald’s as a meeting place is its sheer availability. No matter where you are, you’re likely to find one nearby. This makes it easy to set a predictable location for meeting with those you are discipling, whether at home or while traveling.

2. Affordable and Low-Pressure Environment

A cup of coffee at McDonald’s is inexpensive, making it an accessible option for anyone. I use their app, and some of the time, I can get any sized cup for $0.99!! Unlike higher-end coffee shops, where the cost might be a barrier, McDonald’s allows you to meet without financial strain. It also provides a casual setting where people don’t feel pressured to buy more than they can afford.

3. Consistency Builds Relationships

Meeting at the same McDonald’s on the same days creates an opportunity to get to know the employees and regular customers. Over time, you learn their names, hear their stories, and have natural opportunities to pray for them or share the gospel. Your presence becomes a witness in the community. At the Mc’y D’s by my house, the manager always comes to find me, asks about the missing guy, and receives prayer and encouragement gladly! If my coffee order takes too long, they are making a fresh pot for me! So kind!! Ba da ba ba baaaa!!

4. A Neutral, Public Setting

Some people may be hesitant to meet in a home or a church setting, but a public place like McDonald’s removes that barrier. It’s a relaxed environment where conversations can happen naturally without feeling overly formal. I don’t have to worry if my home is presentable or if the person is too far from the church building.

A friend recently met with a young believer at McDonalds because the young man had his kids with him. The kids played in the Playplace while my friend encouraged him over coffee or soda.

5. Predictability Encourages Commitment

When meetings happen in the same place at the same time, it’s easier for both the disciple-maker and the disciple to stay committed. Consistency helps develop habits, and a regular rhythm of meetings makes discipleship more sustainable.

6. Opportunities for Spontaneous Gospel Conversations

Public places invite organic interactions. Someone may overhear your conversation, ask what you’re studying, or join in. Employees and other customers might ask about your Bible or devotional book, providing an easy opportunity to share the gospel. A few months ago, a man was watching us pray. He came over and asked if we were a people of prayer. When we said “Yes,” he asked if he could join us for a minute. Another time, the manager asked what we were doing. We were able to share about the book we were reading together as well as the gospel!

7. A Model Others Can Easily Follow

Using McDonald’s as a meeting place removes barriers to disciple-making. Anyone can grab coffee and open the Bible with someone else. This model is easy to replicate, encouraging others to do the same.

McDonald’s may not be a traditional setting for discipleship, but it’s a practical and effective one. By intentionally using everyday places like this, we create simple, repeatable patterns that allow discipleship to flourish in our daily lives. So, next time you grab a coffee at McDonald’s, consider how it might become more than just a caffeine stop—it could be the starting point for lifelong spiritual growth.

If you don’t care for McDonalds or are in a different culture/context, what principles can you gain to achieve the goal of regularly meeting in a “third place?”