Actually Love One Another

(Taken from my sermon to Bridgeway Church on 4 Jan 26.)

It’s surprisingly easy to say the right words while carrying the wrong heart.

When I was a kid, my brother and I would get into fights. Nothing serious—no police involved—but severe enough that “the law” would show up. The law was mom. There were tears, competing stories, and, eventually, the forced resolution: “Hug and say you’re sorry.”

So we’d hug. I’d say, “I’m sorry.” And I wasn’t.

In fact, I was probably already planning my revenge.

It’s funny in hindsight, but it exposes something uncomfortable: we’re capable of outward peace while harboring inward hostility. And that tension sits right at the heart of what the apostle John addresses in 1 John 3:11–18.

John reminds believers that we aren’t just associated with one another because we attend the same church. We are family. And because we are family in Christ, we are commanded to actually love one another.

Love Is a Command, Not a Feeling

“For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another” (1 John 3:11).

John doesn’t frame love as an emotional response or a personality trait. He presents it as a command. In a culture that prizes autonomy, personal preference, and emotional authenticity, this can feel restrictive. But Scripture is clear: love for other believers is not optional.

This love isn’t selective. It doesn’t depend on agreement, compatibility, or shared opinions. Withholding love because someone hurt us or sees things differently isn’t just relational tension—it’s disobedience.

To make the contrast unmistakable, John points to Cain. Cain murdered his brother because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s were righteous. Cain represents the world—a system opposed to God and hostile toward righteousness. The family of God loves their kin; the world resents them.

That’s why John says we shouldn’t be surprised when the world hates us. Our values, our hope, and our allegiance are fundamentally different.

Love Reveals Life

John goes even further. Love isn’t just commanded—it’s evidence.

“We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers” (1 John 3:14).

Love doesn’t earn salvation. It reveals it. Those who have truly been transferred from spiritual death to spiritual life will demonstrate that reality through love for other believers. Conversely, persistent hatred reveals a heart still abiding in death.

John’s language is sharp. He equates hatred with murder in the heart. That doesn’t mean believers never struggle with anger or relational conflict. It means a settled posture of hatred—refusal to love, forgive, or reconcile—contradicts a claim to abide in Christ.

The Pattern of Love Is the Cross

If John stopped there, the passage would feel crushing. But verse 16 changes everything.

“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us.”

This is the source. This is the pattern. This is the power.

Jesus laid down His life for sinners. Our sin was placed on Him; His righteousness was given to us. Martin Luther called this the “joyful exchange.” The gospel doesn’t just forgive us—it transforms us.

Because Christ laid down His life for us, we are called to lay down our lives for one another. Most of the time, that doesn’t look dramatic. It looks ordinary. Inconvenient. Costly in small, daily ways.

John gives a practical example: if you have the resources to meet a real need and choose not to, how does God’s love abide in you? Love is not theoretical. It shows up.

Actually Love One Another

John closes with a gentle but firm appeal:

“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18).

He isn’t dismissing kind words—he’s insisting they be backed by action. Love that never costs us anything isn’t the love John is describing.

In the life of the church, this means showing up for one another. Bearing burdens. Giving generously. Opening our schedules and our homes. Choosing obedience over convenience.

The gospel doesn’t just change what we believe. It changes how we live—and how we love.

So the question is simple, but searching:

Are we loving in word only, or are we actually loving one another?

The call of Scripture is clear. Not perfectly. Not effortlessly. But genuinely.

Actually love one another.