Discipleship is at the heart of the Christian life, modeled by Jesus Himself in His relationships with His followers. Finding someone to disciple you can be a crucial step if you desire to grow spiritually and deepen your faith. This guide explores how to seek out and approach a mature believer who can help you in your walk with Christ.
1. The Importance of Discipleship
Jesus commanded His followers to “make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19–20). Discipleship is not optional for Christians—it is a biblical mandate. Jesus Himself said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15), reminding us that obedient followers take His words seriously. Being discipled by a mature believer helps you grow in faith, gain a clearer understanding of Scripture, and develop the character of Christ. Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” The Christian life is meant to be lived in community, with believers helping one another mature in faith.
2. What to Look for in a Discipler
Not everyone is suited to be a discipler-yet! When seeking someone to disciple or mentor you, prioritize spiritual maturity and biblical faithfulness over charisma or status. Key qualities to look for include:
- Biblical Faithfulness – A discipler should be grounded in Scripture, rightly handling the Word of God (2 Timothy 2:15), and living in obedience to it.
- Christlike Character – Look for someone who exhibits the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and lives with humility, integrity, and love.
- Prayerful Dependence on God – A strong discipler relies on God through prayer and encourages those they disciple to do the same.
- Commitment to the Local Church – Since discipleship is a communal effort, the ideal discipler should be actively engaged in their local church.
- Encouragement and Generosity – Inspired by Barnabas, a good discipler uplifts, supports and generously invests in others (Acts 4:36-37).
- Reliability and Consistency—A discipler should be dependable, showing up when they commit and demonstrating a long-term investment in their mentee. They should also model consistency and be the ones to calendar the upcoming appointments.
3. Where to Find a Discipler
The best place to find a discipler is within your local church, where spiritual relationships are naturally formed. Here are a few places to look:
- Pastors and Elders – Church leaders are often experienced in discipleship and can either disciple you personally or connect you with someone.
- Community Group/Sunday School Leaders—If you’re in a small group, consider approaching a leader or mature member who is already walking in discipleship.
- Ministry Leaders – Those serving in teaching, prayer, or outreach ministries often have a heart for discipleship.
- Faithful Older Believers – Seek those who have demonstrated endurance and faithfulness over the years.
- Discipleship Networks and Online Communities—Some churches and organizations offer online discipleship programs, which can be a good supplement if in-person options are limited.
If you’re struggling to find someone, ask a pastor or church leader for guidance—they may connect you with someone willing to invest in your spiritual growth.
4. How to Approach a Potential Discipler
Once you’ve identified someone who fits these qualities, be intentional and humble in your approach. Here’s how:
- Pray for Guidance – Ask God to lead you to the right person and prepare your heart for discipleship.
- Be Clear and Direct – Express your desire to grow spiritually and ask if they’d be willing to meet with you regularly. You might say:
“I admire your walk with Christ and have been praying about growing in my faith. Would you be willing to meet regularly to help me grow as a disciple?” - Start Small – Instead of asking for a long-term commitment upfront, suggest meeting for a few months to see if it’s a good fit.
- Respect Their Time – Many mature believers have busy schedules, so be flexible with meeting times. Do your best to arrive a little early and finish at the time you’ve agreed upon. Ask them what days and times are best for their schedules.
- Be Teachable and Consistent. Show your commitment by being prepared for meetings, applying what you learn, and following through on any recommendations they make.
- Be Patient – Don’t be discouraged if someone declines due to time constraints. Keep praying and seeking the right discipler.
5. Discipleship is Relational and Reciprocal
Discipleship is not just about receiving instruction but building a relationship. Both the discipler and the disciple grow together. As you engage in discipleship, be willing to share your struggles, victories, and spiritual insights. True discipleship involves mutual encouragement and accountability (Hebrews 10:24-25).
6. Commitment and Practical Steps
For discipleship to be effective, it requires intentionality. Consider these practical steps:
- Set a Regular Meeting Time – Whether weekly or biweekly, having a set time ensures consistency.
- Study Scripture Together – Focus on biblical truths that will help you grow spiritually.
- Pray Together – Prayer should be a core part of discipleship, fostering deeper reliance on God.
- Discuss Real-Life Application – Discipleship should impact daily living, helping you apply biblical principles in your personal life.
- Seek Accountability – A discipler should lovingly challenge you to grow, holding you accountable for commitments you make.
7. Multiplication: Becoming a Discipler Yourself
Jesus’ model of discipleship was always meant to be reproducible. The goal is not just to be discipled but to become a discipler who makes other disciples. As Paul instructed Timothy:
“What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.” (2 Timothy 2:2)
After being discipled, pray about whom you can begin investing in. Discipleship is a lifelong process, and as you grow, you’ll be able to help others in their spiritual journey.
Conclusion
Finding someone to disciple you is a vital step in your spiritual growth. By seeking out a biblically faithful, Christlike mentor, being intentional in your approach, and committing to the process, you can experience transformation in your walk with Christ. More than that, you will be equipped to help others grow, fulfilling Jesus’ call to make disciples who make disciples. Stay faithful, be patient, and trust that God will lead you to the right person at the right time.
Bibliography:
J. Garrett Kell. How Can I Find Someone to Disciple Me? 9Marks. Crossway, 2021.
Toby DeHay 