The journey of discipleship is a growth, learning, and transformation process. As disciples strive to listen to and follow the Lord, they inevitably make mistakes. It is the responsibility of the disciple-maker to address these missteps with grace and truth, guiding the disciple toward maturity and deeper understanding. This requires discernment, patience, and a commitment to the disciple’s long-term spiritual development.
One crucial aspect of discipleship involves learning to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit. This is not always easy, and disciples may misinterpret promptings or act on impulses that are not aligned with God’s will. In such cases, the disciple-maker must gently correct the disciple, helping them distinguish between their desires and the Spirit’s leading. This may involve asking clarifying questions, exploring the situation from different perspectives, and grounding the disciple in Scripture.
Another challenge arises when disciples, due to ignorance or lack of experience, make decisions that could have serious consequences for themselves, their disciple-maker, or their church. For example, a disciple might share sensitive information without considering the potential harm or engage in activities that compromise their witness without being intentionally sinful. One time, a young man I discipled thought the Holy Spirit was telling him one thing, acted on it, and then caused me to mediate a public verbal clash between two groups within a church. His heart was in the right place, but he didn’t have enough experience to see the outcome. I tried to guide him toward other alternatives, but his mind was made up. Other times, a mistake is made, and no one knows. The disciple-maker must address these issues promptly and directly, explaining the potential ramifications and helping the disciple to understand the importance of wisdom and discernment.
Throughout this process, both the disciple-maker and the disciple should keep the following principles in mind:
- Disciple-maker:
- Love and patience: Approach corrections with a spirit of love and patience, recognizing that mistakes are part of learning. Don’t keep them from making mistakes. Be there when they happen and care for the well-intended disciple.
- Humility: Acknowledge that you are also a learner and that you do not have all the answers. Share stories of your mistakes. If possible, take the brunt of their fallout (if there is one), and show them what you are doing and why. Disciple-maker, you are the leader. Sometimes, leaders need to accept responsibility instead of the disciple. When I was a young believer, I remember asking myself, “Why didn’t a more mature believer stick up for me when I did that dumb thing?”
- Scriptural foundation: Ground all guidance and correction in the Word of God. It’s okay to be situationally pragmatic about handling issues. We can’t operate in the theoretical or the “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s.” But our handling of an issue NEEDS to be based on a spiritual foundation using good biblical exegesis. What does the Bible say, and how do we translate that to real-world action?
- Grace and truth: Speak the truth in love, offering grace while addressing the issue at hand. Don’t sugarcoat things. If it’s hard, say it in love. Make sure your words and facial expressions match. I remember hearing someone say, “You said you are happy, but I don’t think your face knows. It looks super mad! Ya’ll need to come together in agreement.”
- Disciple:
- Humility and teachability: Receive correction with a humble and teachable spirit, recognizing that it is meant for your growth. Did you make a mistake? Own it. Ask your disciple-maker good questions about the situation, like, “How could I have handled that differently?” “Why did you do this instead of that?” “What mistakes did you make as a young believer, and how did others love you as you learned?”
- Openness: Be open and honest with your disciple-maker about your struggles and uncertainties. Openness shows teachability.
- Accountability: Take responsibility for your actions and seek to learn from your mistakes. Discuss what you would do differently next time. Thank your disciple-maker for taking any heat and sharing the truth.
- Prayer: Commit to praying for guidance and discernment in your journey of following the Lord. Try journaling your experience and writing a prayer, thanking the Lord for teaching you and providing mature believers to help you.
When addressing a mistake, the disciple-maker should:
- Acknowledge the situation: Clearly identify the issue and its potential consequences.
- Seek understanding: Ask questions to understand the disciple’s perspective and motivations.
- Offer correction: Gently and lovingly point out the error and its impact.
- Provide guidance: Help the disciple understand how to avoid similar mistakes in the future.
- Encourage growth: Emphasize the opportunity for learning and growth, reminding the disciple of God’s grace and forgiveness.
Discipleship is a journey of walking alongside one another, learning from each other’s experiences, and growing together in Christ. When disciples stumble, it is an opportunity for disciple-makers to demonstrate the love and grace of God, guiding them back on the path of righteousness. By addressing mistakes with wisdom, patience, and a commitment to Scripture, disciple-makers can help their disciples mature in their faith and become faithful followers of Jesus Christ.
Toby DeHay 