17 Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone.
Ex 18:17–18
While living in Kansas City, MO, we practiced house church with a group of believing friends. For the first several years, we held the meeting in our home, cooked a meal each week, and took care of all the preparations for our gatherings. However, we eventually realized that we were not effectively utilizing our group members to share the workload.
Quickly, group members began hosting in their own homes and inviting their friends. We utilized events such as the Super Bowl and July 4th to invite friends who wouldn’t typically attend our group and provide points of rest from our regular rhythms. We discovered that others were eager to help and were invested in keeping the group healthy and intact.
Reflecting on our Wellspring house church and the lessons learned over the years, I compiled a short list of five ideas for group leaders to implement to maintain health and reduce the stress of leading week after week.
Enlist a Co-Leader for Your Group
If you’re leading a group alone or with your spouse, consider enlisting a co-leader or a couple to co-lead with you. Begin by asking the Lord to highlight people who have demonstrated leadership capabilities and faithfulness. My wife and I co-lead with another couple, and it’s been amazing! We bounce ideas off each other, share leadership responsibilities, and grow closer as friends while strengthening our relationship.
Utilize as Many Homes/Meeting Places as Possible
Preparing your home for guests every week can become tiresome. My wife and I recently started rotating the hosting duties to our home. My wife remarked, “This will help keep the kitchen table free from clutter!” I couldn’t agree more. However, the stress mounts when it’s a weekly occurrence, and life’s pressures collide at the most inconvenient times. Guests might not always be as gracious as you hope, or work commitments during busy seasons could make it challenging to host.
Utilizing another home or a third place (such as a restaurant or coffee shop) can alleviate some of this pressure. Sharing the hosting burden also demonstrates love and care for those who lead and teach. Group members often forget the effort involved—cleaning the home, preparing discussion questions, selecting songs, and reaching out to absent members. Meeting at a different location for even a month could alleviate some of this pressure.
Develop Disciples/Leadership Apprentices
Whether you have a co-leader or are praying to find one, developing disciples or a group apprentice should be a priority. In our group, which operates with co-leading couples, our goal is to develop leadership apprentices. We aspire to see new groups formed and neighborhoods impacted by the gospel. Encouraging members to take on teaching responsibilities helps hone their skills and lightens the load for us.
Build-in Breaks (seasonal, planned, group activity, holiday)
Plan breaks around holidays, group activities, fifth weeks in a month, or even designate a month off during the summer. Leaders can step back by pouring into disciples who can lead in their absence, inviting guest speakers, or arranging for another group to provide leadership assistance. Strategically planning these breaks throughout the year can offer much-needed respite.
Practice Personal Spiritual Disciplines and Healthy Home Practices
When my regular time with the Lord is interrupted due to mismanaged schedules or disrupted routines, I find myself more susceptible to stress. This added pressure doesn’t help when it’s group night, and I know I haven’t been setting the best example.
Donald Whitney and Richard Foster have been invaluable resources regarding spiritual disciplines. While it’s essential to learn, it’s even more crucial to put that knowledge into practice, ideally within a supportive community. Take time to assess your personal spiritual health and commit to growth in specific areas this year.
Additionally, consider your home practices, including family and work schedules, morning, evening, and weekend routines, and regular indoor and outdoor chores. Automating tasks such as bill payments and using delivery services can save time and streamline responsibilities.
Toby DeHay 